Family RRReunion
by LovelyMetalhead
Summary: Zorc's family comes over to visit...much to the demon's dismay. Sadly, all Bakura can do is watch in confusion. Rated T for implications. I've not watched enough PSG to say that the characters are accurately written. Just sit back and laugh.


It was a rather quiet day for Zorc. He had decided to take a day off from chaos and destruction for some rest. So here he was, sitting in the Shadow Realm, reading newspaper articles about the destruction that he had caused the day before, laughing to himself.

However, his reading was interrupted with a cry of, "Zorc! You have mail!"

The demon looked up to see Yami no Bakura holding a few envelopes in his hands. "From who?" the monster inquired.

"I'm not sure," the white-haired spirit shrugged. "It just says it's from a place called Daten City, wherever that is." He handed the envelope to his roommate of the Shadow Realm.

"Daten City?" Zorc mulled for a second before he realized from whom the letter was. "Please don't tell me..." he trailed off while opening the letter with his enormous claws. Pulling out the contents of the envelope, Zorc was less than excited as he found that his fears had come true.

"Why do you look so glum all of a sudden?" Yami no Bakura asked. Nothing ever seemed to phase the all-powerful Zorc-sama; it kind of freaked the white-haired yami out a bit to see the at least seventy-foot tall demon look bemused at a letter.

Zorc drew out a sigh. "My family's coming over for a little family reunion," he finally said.

"What's so bad about that?" Yami no Bakura further asked. "Hasn't it been a long while since you've last seen your family?"

"Yes," Zorc replied, "I would rather to not see them _at all._"

"Why is that?" Bakura asked. Now that he thought about it, Zorc never really fancied talking about his family... at all. Even when the spirit talked about memories he had in his past life of his family, Zorc just kind of... spaced out and didn't pay attention.

"It's not much of your concern, Bakura," Zorc said.

"It kind of is if they're coming over here to say hello," Bakura remarked, "and considering the fact that I live here, too... You might as well spit it out, Zorc."

Zorc sighed. "Well..." He looked at Bakura, who was growing rather impatient for an answer. "Fine." He took another second to regain himself. "You know how I like to cause chaos and destruction, right?"

Bakura chuckled. "You've made that fact apparent from the day we met," he said, quickly recalling their first encounter.

"Well, my family is kind of the opposite," Zorc said with hesitation. "My father's always favoured my sisters more, and they're really obsessed with keeping 'rrrrrrrrules' and order. So, you can see, I'm more of the black sheep in my family."

"Why did you just roll your 'r' just now?"

"It's one of their quirks, I honestly have no idea why they do it."

"Ah, I see." Bakura nodded. "So, are they also immensely large monsters like yourself?"

"No, they're more of your height, Bakura," Zorc said. "In fact, I look little like them... My sisters have red skin and my father is more blue."

"Odd," Bakura mused, but quickly shrugged off that detail. He was strange in that sense, too, having been immensely dark and blatantly Egyptian in his past life, whereas now, he was paler than a snowman. "So when are they supposed to be coming?"

"They'll show up inconveniently, I just know it." As if on cue for a popular 1990's sitcom, there was the sound of a doorbell. "And I bet that's them now."

Bakura walked over to answer the door. And he was met with a strange sight. In front of him were three beings, all pretty much exactly how Zorc had described them. The two red-skinned girls were clad in overcoats like that of a detective; one had green wild and curly hair, the other in a long blue ponytail, and had glasses. He noted the horns on their heads; the green-haired one's horns reminded Bakura of his own hair spikes for a second. He looked at the man behind them; who was indeed, blue-skinned, and had white hair that stuck straight up; Bakura was reminded of Kemo from Duelist Kingdom. What was strange about the man was that it seemed he we proudly wearing bondage; he had something that held his mouth open… and was he wearing a corset on the outside of his clothing? Yes, he was, for he just took a second to tighten it around his waist.

In the midst of these observations, Bakura didn't notice that these people (demons?) were giving him a look of disgust. "Uhm, hello," he managed to say. "My name is Bakura."

"Feh," the man said through the mouth stretcher. "He didn't tell us he was living with an _angel._" He spoke that last word with extreme harshness.

Angel? Bakura was far from being anything like an angel. "I'm sorry, but I'm not-" he started to say, but was immediately cut off.

"Should we take care of it, father?" the blue-haired one asked. Take care—what was going on here?

Not a second later did Zorc walk up, worried about how this whole ordeal would turn out. "Oh hello, father! Scanty, Kneesocks." Bakura looked back and forth between the relatives, wondering about the strangeness of their names.

But the strange level of their names would have to wait, for Bakura could already see the tension between his roommate and his relatives.

"Codpiece, why is this angel here?" the man asked. _Codpiece? _Bakura wondered. This was just getting weirder by the second.

"Oh, dad, don't worry about him, he's not an angel," Zorc explained. Or Codpiece. Whatever his name was. "He's just really pale."

"But isn't that a notable feature of an angel?" The green-haired girl asked with her arms crossed.

"And his shirt is strikingly similar to Stocking's stockings," the other girl noted. Why did she just say the word "stockings" twice in a row?

"Don't worry about it, Kneesocks," Zorc tried to assure these people. "He's not an angel, _trust me._"

The visitors all looked rather hesitant. Finally, the man said, "Fine, we'll take your word for it," and promptly walked inside, followed by the two girls. Bakura whispered up to Zorc, "What was that all about?"

Zorc leaned over and whispered back, "They're kind of discriminatory against angels."

"So you basically have racists for relatives?" Bakura asked harshly.

"I wouldn't say that," Zorc replied.

"So what would you say?"

"Uhm…" Zorc was at a loss for words.

"And why was that man calling you 'Codpiece'?" This Bakura really wanted to know.

"Well, it's a long and funny story; I'll tell you when I properly introduce you guys."

Bakura sighed. This was going to be a _long_ visit.

Zorc and Bakura walked over into what one could call the living area of the Shadow Realm, and sat amongst the three newcomers.

Clearing his throat, Zorc started, "So Bakura, this is my family." He pointed to each demon respectively, "This is Kneesocks," he pointed to the blue-haired girl with glasses, "This is Scanty," he pointed to the two-horned, green-haired girl, "And this is my father, Corset," he said finally, pointing to the corseted man.

Bakura nodded to each, "Charmed. As I said before, my name is Bakura."

He received no response. Instead, Corset tightened his corset and looked to Zorc. "So Codpiece, what have you been up to since we last saw you?"

Zorc looked hesitant to answer, to say the least. "I told you, father," he said, "don't call me by that name."

"Why not?" Corset spat, tightening his corset for the third time since entering the house. "It is your birth name, I will call you by said name, _Codpiece._" He drew out what was apparently Zorc's birth name. "Why do you even insist on being called something as weird and disgusting as Zorc Necrophades? I don't even see the logic in that name."

_Logic? _Bakura wondered. _What's more logical about the name Codpiece?_

Zorc sighed in frustration. "Father, I told you; Zorc is a much more intimidating name than Codpiece. I wouldn't want my enemies laughing at me because of my name; I want them to cower in fear!"

"But as we recall," Scanty butted in, "that according to the rrrrrules, your name has to coincide with your weapon."

"And last I checked," Kneesocks continued, "your weapon isn't a 'Zorc.' It's a codpiece, _Codpiece._"

Scanty looked lovingly at her sister. "That's so smart of you, dear sister."

Kneesocks' cheeks went paler. Bakura wondered if that was how she blushed. "Oh, it's nothing, dear sister; you were the one to bring up the point first."

Corset cleared his throat harshly. "Girls," he said, "we're here visiting your brother. Not to drool over each other."

Bakura was going to be sick. Of course, being evil, he's done some pretty disgusting things- he could list a ton of them off proudly at that very moment- but what Corset and the sisters seemed to be insinuating… crossed a line for him.

He brought his focus back to the confusion of Zorc's name. The explanation that the demons brought forth seemed to make sense. Bakura did, after all, bear witness to some of the torture that Zorc's phallic dragon had caused.

Zorc had chuckled for the first time since his family had walked in. "Well," he said, "at least I don't have to take time to transform my weapon. It's always ready."

The other demons growled. "At least we follow the rrrrrules with our weapons, brother," Scanty scoffed.

"Pfft, I don't care for your rrrrules."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kneesocks asked.

"I'm just saying," Zorc said, shrugging his shoulders smugly, "I think destruction and chaos is the best route when it comes to taking order." The sisters growled, clenching their fists. "The 'rrrrrules' should be screwed!"

That seemed to put the demon sisters over the edge pretty quickly. Bakura watched with slight amusement. "Onee…" Kneesocks growled.

"Let's do it, imouto," Scanty growled back.

_Do what?_ Bakura wondered.

Suddenly, it seemed that the girls were in… totally different outfits. Black leather. And much more… revealing. _What the hell?_ Bakura wondered. Were they-? Bakura watched in confusion as they seemed to be taking off articles of clothing, and then whirling them around as they transformed into weapons. Scanty had a pair of guns, and Kneesocks had a pair of scythes. Bakura blinked, and then they were back into their detective overcoats. Only Kneesocks didn't have on her kneesocks anymore. And Scanty… Bakura could only guess what she was missing.

"Oh, I see, now we're going to get violent," Zorc said. "You know, this was supposed to be my day from causing destruction and pain, but I guess you guys have different plans in mind." The monster got ready, taking a stance, getting his dragon ready.

The girls jumped up and started attacking Zorc with their weapons. However, Zorc just blew them away with purple energy shooting from his dragon.

Bakura watched this display as the siblings continued to fight, wondering if he should step in and help his roommate or let him handle it. Zorc did, after all, have a tremendous advantage with size; therefore he would be hard to take down. However, the girls seemed to have a bigger advantage with speed, since they were smaller. Zorc would have a harder time turning 90 degrees to the left if they were—

"Well," Corset stepped in front of Bakura, interrupting his train of thought. "While they're settling that, I want to… try something."

_Try something? _Bakura thought. He was legitimately scared. What would this man do? But wait a second, Bakura shouldn't be scared! They were in the Shadow Realm! This was his turf! He was the Master of the Dark-

He was suddenly thrown to the ground by a kick to the chest, courtesy of Corset. What the? Corset tightened his corset yet again before reaching inside his jacket and grabbing something. Bakura froze, truly scared that he was going to be—oh Ra did that man just grab a whip?

Forgetting about his roommate's siblings' quarrel, Bakura remained frozen, as Corset looked down to him, and seemed to analyze him. This just scared the yami even more. So many thoughts just swam through his head as the older man just stared at him, right in the face. Just staring, and smiling creepily. Suddenly, Corset cracked his whip right onto Bakura's midsection, causing the spirit to cry out in pain. And then, in the midst of the pain, he found himself being flipped over, stomach on the ground, and Corset's foot digging harshly into his back. Bakura only hoped that what he was thinking was NOT going to happen next. Sadly, those hopes remained hopes, as Corset grabbed at the hem of his pants.

Bakura already found this to be going too far. He squirmed underneath Corset's foot, trying to escape. However, the man's heel was dug pretty deep into his skin, only causing him more pain. And speaking of more pain, Corset took Bakura's squirming as an invitation to do more whipping. Bakura cried out in intense pain.

"STOP IT!" the spirit shouted. He cried and screamed and shouted, hoping that Corset would just stop. The spirit didn't like where this was going, he just wanted this to be over.

"I want you to make believe this is the first time," Corset whispered to the spirit. Bakura was horrified at what he just said. He couldn't make believe it, because it would have been—

"BAKURA!" Zorc shouted through his thoughts. The white-haired yami looked up to find Zorc looking at him expectantly. But wait a second, wasn't he?

"What? Wait…" Bakura looked around. He found himself not on the floor anymore. In fact, the visitors were not in sight. "What is going on?"

"I hope that will help you learn to trust me next time I say I've got a plan UNDER CONTROL, Bakura," Zorc huffed with his arms crossed. "And that's the last time I let you balance a checkbook. You suck at finances, you know that?"

Bakura was still confused. Just a second ago he was almost going to get uke-raped by a creepy old demon man, but…

Zorc sighed in frustration. "I made you see all of that. The Shadow Realm can be kind of useful like that."

"So wait," Bakura asked, a little reassured. "So I really wasn't going to be raped horrendously by your father?"

"It was fun watching you squirm," Zorc chuckled. "But I figured you had enough."

"You, dirty demon, you." Bakura frowned.

Zorc just laughed. "By the way, I just got the mail." He handed Bakura his mail. Junk, junk… Bill? In the Shadow Realm? Bakura just shrugged it off. "Oh look, something for me." Bakura looked up at his roommate, curious.

"From whom?"

"It just says it's from Daten City…" Bakura's eyes widened at that. "Oh yay, my family wants to come over…"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Bakura shouted. He ran to a farther corner of the Shadow Realm, hoping to not be seen by his roommate's family. He could handle the racism, he could handle watching demons transforming scandalous articles of clothing into weapons, hell, he could stand that Zorc's original name was _Codpiece _of all things. But he would _not _be able to think of zombies, old men, and torture the same friendly way he used to.

Zorc was a bit of a bastard like that.


End file.
